This is one of the ways my life has changed...

A couple of days ago I was out walking George and as usual, my pace was fast and purposeful. We came across an old man and a small white dog, similar to George. The dogs started to do their thing - as dogs do - and I began to chat with the old man. Normally, I say a few words and then hurry on my way.  The man kept talking as I was inching my way ahead of him, trying to end the conversation so I could resume my regular pace. It occurred to me then, that he clearly wanted someone to talk to so I decided to slow down and listen. What would have normally taken me 20 minutes, ended up taking 45 minutes and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing a little bit about his life. He was born in Nelson and has lived here his entire 84 years. I realized then how unimportant was my drive to walk quickly so as to get some exercise and get on with whatever task was next. How many times have I been obsessed with the hustle and bustle of my life, never having the time to stop and enjoy the simplest of pleasures. I don't miss that part of my life and continue to feel so blessed that I have been bestowed with the seemingly rare gift of time. I pray I use it wisely, with good intentions and an open heart and mind to the gifts that are presented to me each day.

The other day I volunteered as usual to sell Christmas trees for our Rotary Club. When I arrived, someone said to me "Uh oh, are you one of those happy, over the top enthusiastic Christmas people?". I laughed and said of course not! I got to thinking about this later and it dawned on me that I really don't like Christmas and struggle to get myself into the so called "spirit" of it. Since being in Kolkata, all I can think about is what it would be like if I could be there to celebrate Christmas with the sisters at Mother House. I vow I will do this one year! Anyway, I think what I struggle so much with is that at no other time of the year am I so painfully aware of the disparity between the "haves" and the "have nots" and then I chastise myself for being one of the "haves" with so much abundance when others are so very deprived of the most basic needs in life.

This world makes no sense to me.

Work. Work?

When I started this blog well over a year ago, it was just for the purpose of keeping everyone updated while I walked the Camino. I knew there wouldn't be much opportunity to write emails to individual people so I thought is was a good solution. Plus, I wasn't carrying a travel diary per se and wanted to keep track for myself. Through this process, I realize I have come to enjoy writing very much. Because I walk so much, often through beautiful forests, paths, and parks, I have a lot of time to think about things and then I feel compelled to write about them. My memory is also getting very bad so this way, I can remember things I've done. I really don't know who is reading this blog - nobody ever comments - but the statistics show there are a lot of hits. I know some people have had a hard time leaving comments - I think it is some glitch with blogspot and signing in or something - but I would love to hear from anyone who is interested in contacting me. You can reach me at cowanjena@gmail.com.

Kokanee Glacier Hike 2012

I am one of those very fortunate people who has had great opportunity in my life and can now call myself "retired". Well, what I actually say is that I'm temporarily retired. Only because I feel I am too young not to work. All my friends are working and I miss the comaraderie and social-ness of the working environment. I also want to feel productive and needed. Other than an unquenchable desire to travel, I don't really have a purpose anymore. Is that okay? Some people would say it's fine but for me I feel I miss the passion of working at something you love. Something you are building and creating. Yes, there are days when all you can dream about is stopping work, but I think we want to stop because we're tired and stressed and need a break. After a long break, I realize I do want to work but I do NOT want the crazy stress-filled life I once had. So there is a balance that needs to be attained. I have had many months to consider this and ask myself, how do I want to spend my working life? I know it needs to be creative, flexible and feed my soul. I have thought about doing what I think I'm good at - human resources, project management, or some other kind of corporate endeavor. All this equals STRESS. So, I need to go back to what I am passionate about. What keeps surfacing is Design. Specifically graphic design - it's what I should have done when I graduated from high school. I have taken several courses through KSA and feel quite comfortable with the Adobe suite. I have done some freelance work along with quite a bit of pro-bono work and think it could be something that would feed my soul and produce an income that I can do from anywhere. I know I want to live in more than one place therefore need the flexibility to be elsewhere when I want to be. I love Nelson, it's been my home for many years. I have strong roots here - my Mom, my friends, the mountains and the lake lure me back to this place again and again. But I know it is time for a change and after traveling to so many other places in the world, I realize there are many beautiful places that I could call home, at least temporarily. I've been wrestling with this decision for more than a year and feel it's time to make a choice. Whatever I choose, I know that if I am passionate about it, believe in it, embrace it, I will be successful. So off to college I go. I think.