Oh Baby!

It's been a long time since I've written on my blog and with the birth of my first blessed grandchild a few days ago, it seems a great reason to put fingers to keys once again.

being held by Uncle Robbie

So let me just say that becoming a grandparent was not at all what I expected. First of all, knowing my beloved daughter was in labor just about killed me. I knew the pain she was facing and had no idea how long she would labor and all I wanted to do was take it on for her. Spoken like a true mom. It doesn't matter how old your kids get, to you, they are still your babies and I couldn't bear my baby in that kind of pain. But she did it! Valiantly and bravely and with love and help from her devoted husband Rob, their doula, and midwife. Bravo!

Secondly, having this time in Vancouver to be with my daughter throughout her pregnancy has been such a blessing for me. To talk about birth, motherhood, parenting and how all these things have evolved and changed over time was such a gift. It's not that we didn't do it "right" in our day, but theories change along the way with new information and a changing world. I felt so honored that she wanted to ask me questions and get my advice (this continues) and even though I was a too young, inexperienced mom, it seemed like I had everything I needed to be one. So this is what I tell my daughter. That within her lies all the wisdom and instinct she needs to take care of her baby. There's a sort of comfort too, knowing she now knows how much I love her because now she's a mom.

tired but beautiful mama

snuggling with his Daddy

So now I just have to gush about "the world's most perfect human being". My grandson, Niko Slade Kozlowski. He is the most perfect, beauteous, astonishingly miraculous tiny person and I am utterly besotted with him. He is exquisite and most perfectly made. Plus, he's really, really cute! I have been in awe watching his parents fall in love with him by the minute and how he has completely perfected the circle of love between them. It is magic. Seeing Rob so involved, so supportive and so interested in every little thing that is going on makes me quite emotional.

sleeping like a baby

And I swear the baby knows who I am. He seems to be listening to me when I talk to him. Well, come on, if he can hear his parents' voices in the womb, surely he can hear mine too, right? All I want to do is gaze at him all day long. I don't even have to hold him as long as I can see him and bask in the wonder of the bonding between them all. I just know he and I are going to be really good pals and if I get to exhibit even half the love my mom bestows on all her grandchildren, then I am truly blessed indeed.

My maternal grandmother who lived all her life in Liverpool used to sing a lullaby to her grandchildren there called "Lula Bye". Although she was known as Granny, my English cousins called her "Lula" as well. In honor of my Granny, whom I only saw a few times in my life but whom I loved dearly and felt very close to, I will be called "Lula".

This is the beginning of the next generation. I wonder how many grandchildren I will be blessed with and I look forward to watching my sons become dads too. This generation has it far more together than any other as they view parenting as a true partnership and an extension of their commitment to each other.

Just the way it should be.

My Mentor - words to live by

††† Prayer of Mother Teresa †††

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. 
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. 
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true friends. 
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. 
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building someone could destroy over night. 
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. 
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow. 
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. 
Give the world the best you have anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Amen †

This is one of the ways my life has changed...

A couple of days ago I was out walking George and as usual, my pace was fast and purposeful. We came across an old man and a small white dog, similar to George. The dogs started to do their thing - as dogs do - and I began to chat with the old man. Normally, I say a few words and then hurry on my way.  The man kept talking as I was inching my way ahead of him, trying to end the conversation so I could resume my regular pace. It occurred to me then, that he clearly wanted someone to talk to so I decided to slow down and listen. What would have normally taken me 20 minutes, ended up taking 45 minutes and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing a little bit about his life. He was born in Nelson and has lived here his entire 84 years. I realized then how unimportant was my drive to walk quickly so as to get some exercise and get on with whatever task was next. How many times have I been obsessed with the hustle and bustle of my life, never having the time to stop and enjoy the simplest of pleasures. I don't miss that part of my life and continue to feel so blessed that I have been bestowed with the seemingly rare gift of time. I pray I use it wisely, with good intentions and an open heart and mind to the gifts that are presented to me each day.

The other day I volunteered as usual to sell Christmas trees for our Rotary Club. When I arrived, someone said to me "Uh oh, are you one of those happy, over the top enthusiastic Christmas people?". I laughed and said of course not! I got to thinking about this later and it dawned on me that I really don't like Christmas and struggle to get myself into the so called "spirit" of it. Since being in Kolkata, all I can think about is what it would be like if I could be there to celebrate Christmas with the sisters at Mother House. I vow I will do this one year! Anyway, I think what I struggle so much with is that at no other time of the year am I so painfully aware of the disparity between the "haves" and the "have nots" and then I chastise myself for being one of the "haves" with so much abundance when others are so very deprived of the most basic needs in life.

This world makes no sense to me.

Work. Work?

When I started this blog well over a year ago, it was just for the purpose of keeping everyone updated while I walked the Camino. I knew there wouldn't be much opportunity to write emails to individual people so I thought is was a good solution. Plus, I wasn't carrying a travel diary per se and wanted to keep track for myself. Through this process, I realize I have come to enjoy writing very much. Because I walk so much, often through beautiful forests, paths, and parks, I have a lot of time to think about things and then I feel compelled to write about them. My memory is also getting very bad so this way, I can remember things I've done. I really don't know who is reading this blog - nobody ever comments - but the statistics show there are a lot of hits. I know some people have had a hard time leaving comments - I think it is some glitch with blogspot and signing in or something - but I would love to hear from anyone who is interested in contacting me. You can reach me at cowanjena@gmail.com.

Kokanee Glacier Hike 2012

I am one of those very fortunate people who has had great opportunity in my life and can now call myself "retired". Well, what I actually say is that I'm temporarily retired. Only because I feel I am too young not to work. All my friends are working and I miss the comaraderie and social-ness of the working environment. I also want to feel productive and needed. Other than an unquenchable desire to travel, I don't really have a purpose anymore. Is that okay? Some people would say it's fine but for me I feel I miss the passion of working at something you love. Something you are building and creating. Yes, there are days when all you can dream about is stopping work, but I think we want to stop because we're tired and stressed and need a break. After a long break, I realize I do want to work but I do NOT want the crazy stress-filled life I once had. So there is a balance that needs to be attained. I have had many months to consider this and ask myself, how do I want to spend my working life? I know it needs to be creative, flexible and feed my soul. I have thought about doing what I think I'm good at - human resources, project management, or some other kind of corporate endeavor. All this equals STRESS. So, I need to go back to what I am passionate about. What keeps surfacing is Design. Specifically graphic design - it's what I should have done when I graduated from high school. I have taken several courses through KSA and feel quite comfortable with the Adobe suite. I have done some freelance work along with quite a bit of pro-bono work and think it could be something that would feed my soul and produce an income that I can do from anywhere. I know I want to live in more than one place therefore need the flexibility to be elsewhere when I want to be. I love Nelson, it's been my home for many years. I have strong roots here - my Mom, my friends, the mountains and the lake lure me back to this place again and again. But I know it is time for a change and after traveling to so many other places in the world, I realize there are many beautiful places that I could call home, at least temporarily. I've been wrestling with this decision for more than a year and feel it's time to make a choice. Whatever I choose, I know that if I am passionate about it, believe in it, embrace it, I will be successful. So off to college I go. I think.

Life in Deep Cove

Deep Cove

Deep Cove Park

Well, I've been here nearly two weeks now and am so far enjoying living in the mountains. Or at least it feels like that anyway. It's very quiet, very hilly, and very beautiful. I am house sitting for friends who head down south every winter and need someone to stay in their beautiful house overlooking the Cove. Hmmm. It wasn't a really hard decision to make. I'm closer to my kids, though James lives in Aldergrove, about an hour away, and Sarah, Rob and Robbie live in East Vancouver, about 30 minutes away. Added bonus is my sister Judith and her husband Peter and my brother Jamie also live about 30 minutes away. So, this is my chance to see what it would be like to live on the coast and be able to participate in and create family gatherings.

The Deck and View

The House

Major challenges include:
• Making new friends in a place where I know nobody.
• Driving in the big city.
• Getting lost.
• Dealing with torrential downpours that last all day.
• Convincing people to make the drive out here.

George and I manage two good walks every day and are discovering some great paths and trails. Our favourite one is Quarry Rock, about an hour and a half there and back. It's challenging - steep in both directions with a bit of flat but all in the forest. The view in the end is lovely and worth it. Not so fun in the rain, but we try and pick drier days to do it.

The squatters

Deep Cove itself reminds me a little of Nelson, only smaller. The village is quaint and overlooks the cove with a lovely park along the shore. The marina with the majestic sailboats, waiting for the perfect opportunity to venture out. People are friendly here as well. I've met dogwalkers, store owners, and random people just smiling and sometimes saying a friendly hello. All in all, I think it will work out just fine and despite my slight lonliness at the moment, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet and know that come May, I'll probably have made a friend or two.

Day 9 - Back to Halifax

We have been staying in a place called Baddeck on Cape Breton Island. Baddeck is a tiny village situated on the northern shores of Bras d'Or lake. The name Baddeck is derived from the Mi'kmaq term "Abadak" which has been translated as "place with an island near". Baddeck is one of several Cape Breton communities that plays host to the Celtic Colours festival each fall. The music festival features hundreds of Celtic musicians from Cape Breton and around the world. And every night after they've played at the various venues, they have an "after party" that begins at 11pm and ends....well, let's just say they serve breakfast at the venue. Our hotel had a free shuttle service to the party and I was thinking what a fun thing that would be to do. But we had to get up early the next day and  I thought it would be too late. I met a young couple at the pub who convinced me to go with them and that I could take the shuttle back at 1:30. I decided to go for it thinking that wouldn't be too late and I could survive. I ended up taking the last shuttle back at 3:30 am arriving at the hotel at 4:00. All I can say is....it was worth it! The music was incredible - the fiddles, accordians, guitars, spoons, singing and of course, the foot stomping! I was so incredibly tired the next day but I would have always regretted it if I hadn't gone.

New Friends

We left Cape Breton Island bright and early and I must admit, I was a little sad. We stopped at Sugar Moon Farm and spent the morning at a charming log cabin where we were treated to a brunch of pancakes, biscuits with maple butter (Yum!!) sausages and of course, plenty of maple syrup. What a feast! We had a tour of the facility and met the family that runs the farm who told us about the unique organic methods they employ to produce the delicious maple syrup. Some things I did not know: Maple syrup only comes from the sugar maple trees which only grow in the East. 90% of all maple syrup is produced in Quebec and it takes approximately 40 litres of sap to make one litre of maple syrup! No wonder it's so pricey.

Sugar Moon Farm

Back to Halifax and the end of our tour. We had such a great time and it was hard saying goodbye to our new friends, our tour guide Chris and trusty (and patient) bus driver Brian. Mom and I went down to the pier for bit of shopping and a last dinner with Denny and Mary at "Salty's". Next part of the adventure begins with the first leg of our train journey all the way back to Vancouver.

Day 8 - Cape Breton Island and the Cabot Trail

Atlantic Coastline

Cabot Trail

We spent the day exploring the Cabot Trail and I fell in love with its rugged terrain and spectacular Atlantic Ocean views. The weather was not so good, a bit foggy, but it cleared from time to time and we were able to marvel at the stunning views. 

St. Peter's Church - Cheticamp

We stopped in Cheticamp for lunch and took a moment to peek into the famed St. Peter's Church and strolled the streets of this traditional village steeped in the vibrant culture of the "Old World" French. At the Acadian museum, we saw a demonstration of the traditional hooked rug. Years ago, I came across one at a antique shop in Victoria. I didn't pay much 
for it, but I liked it and appreciated the handiwork. It wasn't until I saw the hooked rugs here that I realized the value of this rug. I think I'll keep it forever! 

Neil's Harbour

On the way back we stopped at a lovely fishing community called Neil's Harbour. I loved the opportunity to walk around, take pictures and relished the beauty of the coastline that I have come to associate with the east coast of Canada.

I want to say a few words about the people we've met on this tour. Many are from the USA and I have to say, are some of the nicest and friendliest people I've ever met. There are Canadians also and a couple from England. There's Barbara and Ray from New Jersey, Pat from Spokane, Denny and Mary from Wisconsin...to name a few. And in Canada, Joan from Kelowna, Maria from Toronto, Judy and Joan from Alberta. Also, the people in the Maritimes are absolutely the warmest I've met during my travels. Right up there with the Liverpudlians! I had no idea that the rich culture, the fishing and farming, the Acadian history were so profoundly and authentically true to their reputation. Wonderful, wonderful people in Atlantic Canada!